Policy for the Sacrament of Marriage

Getting Started
The Sacrament of Marriage is an encounter with Jesus Christ as the couple responds to their vocation to grow in holiness and to share life and love. Preparation is for “the wedding day,” but more importantly, for a life-long commitment.  Preparation for marriage must not only recognize that commitment but also seek to ensure that both parties are capable of making such a commitment. The Diocese of Pittsburgh requires that those wishing to be married give a minimum of six months’ notice.  At Sacred Heart and Saint Raphael Parishes, engaged couples are asked to initiate the process twelve months prior by emailing weddings@bestpghparish.org or by calling Margie at 412-661-3100 on Wednesdays between 4:00Pm and 7:00PM.  Couples will hold a date with the Administrative Assistant, and that date will be confirmed upon the initial meeting with the clergy member they choose as their celebrant.
 

Introduction to the Sacrament of Marriage
Freedom to Marry
Date and Time
Marriage Preparation Programs
Final Completion of Prenuptial Questionnaire and Related Forms
Spiritual Preparation
Preparing the Liturgy
Music Preparation
Flowers and Decorations
Photography/ Videography
Other Important Information
Fees and Donations

 
Introduction to the Sacrament of Marriage
When the Catholic Church teaches that marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament, it is saying that the couple’s relationship expresses in a unique way the unbreakable bond of love between Christ and his people. Like the other six sacraments of the Church, marriage is a sign or symbol which reveals the Lord Jesus and through which his divine life and love are communicated. All seven sacraments were instituted by Christ and were entrusted to the Church to be celebrated in faith within and for the community of believers. The rituals and prayers by which a sacrament is celebrated serve to express visibly what God is doing invisibly.
In a sacramental marriage, God’s love becomes present to the spouses in their total union and also flows through them to their family and community. By their permanent, faithful and exclusive giving to each other, symbolized in sexual intercourse, the couple reveals something of God’s unconditional love. The sacrament of Christian marriage involves their entire life as they journey together through the ups and downs of marriage and become more able to give to and receive from each other. Their life becomes sacramental to the extent that the couple cooperates with God’s action in their life and sees themselves as living “in Christ” and Christ living and acting in their relationship, attitudes and actions.
Catholic teaching holds that sacraments bring grace to those who receive them with the proper disposition. Grace is a way of describing how God shares the divine life with us and gives us the help we need to live as followers of Christ. In marriage, the grace of this sacrament brings to the spouses the particular help they need to be faithful and to be good parents. It also helps a couple to serve others beyond their immediate family and to show the community that a loving and lasting marriage is both desirable and possible.
Pope Paul VI wrote: “By it [the Sacrament of Matrimony] husband and wife are strengthened and…consecrated for the faithful accomplishment of their proper duties, for the carrying out of their proper vocation even to perfection, and the Christian witness which is proper to them before the whole world” (Humanae Vitae, n. 25).
 
 
Freedom to Marry
After a couple has placed a date on hold with the Administrative Assistant, the next step for a couple who want to marry in the Church is to meet with one of the priests or deacons of the Sacred Heart – Saint Raphael grouping.  An important part of this meeting is to address any concerns about whether the parties are free to marry in the Church.  It is particularly important to contact the parish at least twelve months before an intended date if either party has previously been married so the priest or deacon can give guidance.   Although couples may inquire about whether a particular date is available for a wedding, and request that the date be “held”, it cannot be confirmed in the parish Mass Book until the priest or deacon is certain that nothing made known to him in the course of the initial assessment would prevent the marriage from taking place in the Catholic Church.
At the initial meeting, couples are asked to fill out the Prenuptial Questionnaire and related forms.
 
 
Bride and Groom - The Priest or Deacon
The parish priests are available for the weddings of both parish members and non-parish members.  The couple is responsible for asking a parish priest to officiate their wedding.  If a couple would prefer, they are also welcome to ask a priest of their choosing to officiate their wedding.  If the couple plans to have an officiant from outside the Diocese, a Testimonial of Suitability must be obtained from the visiting priest’s order or diocese.  If both bride and groom are Catholic, the wedding should be a Nuptial Mass.  Deacons may officiate at weddings which do not include a Mass. 
 
 
Date and Time
Once freedom to marry is established, a date and time can be confirmed.  For a wedding to take place, all the necessary requirements must be fulfilled.  Weddings can be celebrated on any day except Sundays* and Holy Days of Obligation.  (*Note: Because of COVID-19, Bishop Zubik is allowing weddings to be rescheduled on Sundays on a case-by-case basis until July 2021.)
The latest start time for a Saturday wedding is 2:00 PM at Saint Raphael Church and 4:30 PM at Sacred Heart Church.  Members of the group may arrive 60 minutes before the wedding. The wedding party must depart no later than 90 minutes after the scheduled time of the service.
 
Rehearsals will generally take place the evening before the wedding and be coordinated with the officiant.
 
Marriage Preparation Programs
The couple is required to participate in a marriage preparation program. The program should be completed at least three months but no more than twelve months before the wedding date.  Typically, a couple should select and register for a program six months before the wedding. Click here to view the available programs for marriage prep. The wedding officiant may recommend one program more strongly than others, so the couple is encouraged to reach out to their officiant if they have questions about choosing a program.
 
An optional program for Natural Family Planning is highly recommended for every couple.  Click here to learn more and view schedule options.
 
 
Final Completion of Prenuptial Questionnaire and Related Forms
Official church documents are required for every wedding. The Prenuptial Questionnaire and related forms should be completed at least two months before the wedding by the priest or deacon who will preside at the wedding.
 
By PA state law, no wedding may be conducted without a valid marriage license.  To avoid problems on the wedding day, the Pennsylvania Marriage License should be given to the officiant before the rehearsal begins.
 
 
Spiritual Preparation
Weekly participation in Sunday Mass, daily prayer and the Sacrament of Reconciliation are important elements of spiritual preparation.   The couple should seriously consider living as single persons before the wedding.
 
 
Preparing the Liturgy
The booklet “Together for Life” is a guide for preparation for the wedding. A planning sheet is included inside the back cover. It is important to collaborate with the priest or deacon to finalize the liturgy details.
 
All friends and guests are encouraged to share in the prayers and songs. Please note that with the celebration of Mass, Holy Communion is shared with persons of the Catholic faith who are spiritually prepared.
 
Persons selected to proclaim the Scripture readings should be of the Catholic faith and familiar with this role.
 
A wedding coordinator is available to facilitate the rehearsal and the wedding day.  During your first meeting with the priest, a coordinator will be assigned.  If you know one of the parish wedding coordinators and would prefer to work with that coordinator, let the priest know at your first meeting. Contact the coordinator three months before the wedding.
 
 
Music Preparation
Make an appointment with the music minister two months before the wedding to plan.  Prior to the meeting, please review the suggestions below and complete the Music Selection Form:

• Bride and Groom - The Priest or Deacon
• Sample Worship Aid
• List of Music Suggestions
• Wedding Music Selection Form

Flowers and Decorations

Photography/ Videography
Photo and video memories can be a precious legacy of your wedding day.  We hope that you can capture the spirit and the events that will make this day so special for you and that you may have the opportunity to enjoy these memories in years to come with your family and friends. Please keep the following guidelines in mind:
Photographers should be as inconspicuous as possible throughout the ceremony.  The church is not a public building, and the wedding is not a public event, but a sacred action.  The clergy and staff of the parish respect the professionalism of the photographers and expect that they in turn will respect the sanctity of the occasion.
Upon arriving at the church, please have all photographers or videographers speak with the parish wedding coordinator.
The Parish will not provide photographers with extension cords, ladders, or other items/props.
Photographers and videographers are NOT permitted beyond the altar rail.
Time is available before and after the liturgy for photographs. During the processional recessional, photos may be taken from the center aisle without disruption of the flow of the procession.
During the liturgy, photographers are restricted to the side areas of the church.
Stools and chairs in the sanctuary area are not to be moved or used.
Videotaping is permitted from a fixed position. Additional lighting is not permitted. Wires and equipment are not to be visible. Electrical outlets are not available.


Other Important Information
By law, alcoholic beverages are not permitted on church property at any time.
Rice, confetti, birdseed, candy, bubbles, etc. are not to be thrown outside or inside the church.
Festive or helium-filled balloons must remain OUTSIDE the church building at all times.
While bottled water is permitted in the church, other beverages are not permitted [coffee, soft drinks, etc.].
Rest rooms are available at the vestibule.
Please remember that you are responsible for making sure that the church and all the pews are clear of facial tissues, water bottles, etc. both after the rehearsal and after the wedding liturgy. You may wish to ask the ushers or other members of your family to ensure this task is completed.

Weddings at Sacred Heart Church
The baptistery area is available for waiting or preparation before the entrance procession.
Parking for the car is available at the “Christopher Arch.”
Parking is available at curbside or at the Activities Building [Shady and Alder Streets].
Smaller weddings may be celebrated in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel.


Weddings at St. Raphael Church
Dressing area: a small, but private, dressing area is available for the bride in the church vestibule (the main entrance to the church).  The groom may make use of the rest room in the church sacristy (the room near the front of the church where the priest prepares for Mass.


Fees and Donations
All balances are due one week before the wedding date to the parish business office. Individual checks should be made for each fee.  Gratuities for altar servers should be made in cash.

A gift to the parish by parish members is at the couple’s discretion.  A “parish member” is understood to be a practicing Catholic who has been registered in the parish for at least one year prior to reserving a date for a wedding.  This status is determined by the pastor.
For non-members, the donation for a wedding at Sacred Heart is $1,200 and at St Raphael is $500.  
The fee for the music minister is $200
The fee for the cantor is $125
The fee for the parish wedding coordinator is $125
The gift for the two servers is $20 each (cash)
A gift for the celebrant is at the couple’s discretion.